#516 - I Hate My Family
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
God, I hate my family, my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my grandparents, my grandchildren, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and my in-laws. I don't want anything to do with them. I don't want to hear about them. I don't want to see pictures of them. I don't want their cards and letters. I don't want to talk about them. They have mistreated me, perhaps with cruelty. They have disappointed me. There are not the people I want them to be. I am embarrassed by them. Father, I am exhausted from all this inner rage and bitterness towards them. It is consuming me, ruining my life. It effects all that I put my hands to. It effects my relationships with non-family members. Father, perhaps my rage against them is my own fault. I desire to be my own god but I'm clearly not and I blame my family. I am deeply frustrated I cannot control them. Father, forgive me. Help me heal. Help me surrender my life to You. Help me to forgive every one of them. Help me to understand that perhaps they are victims of this life and their mistreatment of me was only because they are so bitter with their own lives. Help me to understand that perhaps they don't know how to be nicer to me. Perhaps they haven't surrendered their lives to You. How can I expect them be kind to me when they don't have the fruits of the Holy Spirit? Father, help me understand that if I want to have a better family, the change needs to begin with me. Help me love my family in incredible ways so that Your peace, joy, love, and compassion will infiltrate the family, through me. Father, I want to love my family. Help me. Amen.
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