#620 - I'm Considering Having an Abortion
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
God, I am pregnant. What? Are You kidding me? _____________. This is horrific. Father, I'm scared. I messed up. - I'm so young. I don't want a pregnancy to ruin my lifestyle. I have friends. We go places and do things. I have a career ahead of me. I thought we were protected that night. I just had a few drinks. It was just a little fun. It's what a girl does when she meets a fun and goodlooking guy. I had a reputation to worry about. I've had a tough life and I was simply looking for some true love under the sheets. I don't know what came over me but I did it and now I'm pregnant. I want to end this pregnancy. My friends are telling me to get an abortion. My mother is whispering it in my ear. She's so embarrassed. My father will call me a whore and throw me out of the house if he finds out about this pregnancy. What guy will want me when I have a baby? How can I finish school being a teen mother? There are women's health organizations eager to help me get an abortion. They'll make it easy for me. - What's going to happen to my body during pregnancy? I'm terrified about the pain of delivery. My body will never look the same. I have medical conditions - I don't think it's fair that I must pay the price for this the rest of my life. It's not fair that the guy spent a few minutes with me and he can walk away with no consequences. I must live the rest of my life with either a child or the memory of an abortion. - On the other hand, I know there's a life inside of me. I've dreamed since childhood of becoming a mother. Setting up the nursery. Nursing. Strollers. Everyone wanting to hold the baby. Clothes. Snuggling. Bedtime stories. My heart longs for these things. What's the baby going to look like? Will it be a boy or a girl? What will their personality be like? What will it be like to be a good mother throughout every season of their life? I'm so curious. I get excited thinking about it. - The baby will have no father. I'll have no money. How can I bring a baby into this kind of situation? Isn't that cruel? - I hear the voices of the "pro-lifers". The baby deserves to live. They are a person just like I am. It's not the baby's fault. The baby might be a blessing to me, especially as I grow older. It's Your baby. You have plans for their life. You want to have a relationship with them. You have plans to bless them. You have plans to touch other people's lives through them. The baby might grow up to do something wonderful for society. You are fashioning the baby this very minute. How can I walk into your studio and smash the beautiful thing You are making? - What will be the emotional toll on me if I have an abortion? Will I struggle with intense guilt? Will I long for the baby for the rest of my life? I am in hell. Can You comfort me? What am I to do? I can't decide. Father, life can be like a maze. You know the exact path to the solution. We meander down the wrong paths, running into one dead end after another. We complain, "God, why didn't You show us the right path from the beginning?" Your answer? "You didn't ask!" Father, we don't ask You for guidance. We don't ask You for wisdom. We don't ask You for direction. Most of the time, we tell You we can handle our lives on our own. We don't need Your help. When we find ourselves at a dead end, we complain that You have done us a wrong. You allow us to hit these dead ends. You watch us going down a path that will not work. You know the result of our misadventure will be for us to cry out to You for help. "Finally!", You shout. "Grab my hand and I'll lead You out of here and take You to where You ought to be. However, You must follow me. If You don't, You will be stuck and lost again." Father, You are pleased that in this crisis I am calling out to You for help. However, You are waiting to hear more. You are waiting for me to admit I, like every other human, am a rebel from You. I've gone my own way. I do and say what I want. I doubt Your character. I don't ask You for help. I worship other things. You are eager to forgive me because Your Son, Jesus Christ, has paid the price for my rebellion. I must place my faith that my rebellion is forgiven by what He did on the cross. I must surrender my life to You. What does that mean? It means that I ask You for help not just when I'm in crisis pregnancy. It means I ask You for help and direction in everyday living. If I do this, Your Holy Spirit will pour out Your love into my life. I will know peace and joy. I will have the strength to overcome anything. I will have wisdom and understanding. You will provide all that I need. Father, please forgive me. Please come into my life and be the only true God. Please guide me and direct me from this point forward. Make me into a woman of faith. Now, Father, I need help. I need Your people to surround me this very day. They claim they are "pro-life". May they show me they mean what they say. May they walk me through every hour of my pregnancy. May they give me the help I need when I'm a new mom. May they help me find an adoption solution. I need mentoring by godly women. I need the testimonies of women who raised children as single mothers. I need the testimonies of women who have had abortions. I need testimonies of women who gave their babies up for adoption. Where do I go to find these people? Bring them to me. Don't leave me trapped in this maze. Rescue me. Amen.
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