#277 - I Have All-or-Nothing Thinking
Volume 1 - Prayers to Love God
Dear Father, I tend to have all-or-nothing thinking. Everything is black and white. Everything and everyone must fit into a box that I can make sense of. Father, I believe I do this because I am terrified of ambiguity. I am terrified of uncertainty. I am terrified of those things that are not clear. I need the structure of the proper and prompt conclusion and resolution of issues. I need a world view where I don't have to figure out complicated things. I need people and circumstances to be predictable and easy to understand. I need to classify people to help me make sense of them. Why? Because I don't trust You with uncertainty, Father. I don't trust You to handle things that are up-in-the-air and unresolved. If I can't make sense of something I worry that somehow it is out of control and that You can't take care of it. Father, my all-or-nothing thinking has, at its root, a doubt that You are the God that You say You are. You ask me to wait for You to make sense of things in my life. That requires me to trust You. However, I just can't wait. I don't trust You. I need answers now. I need understanding now. Therefore, I make conclusions now as to what something means. Life feels much more manageable when I can put an issue into a clear box. Father, forgive me for how I doubt Your character. Help me to trust that You are the awesome God You say that You are. You have things under control. You don't have to reveal to me what's going on. I don't have to understand my situation. I can handle ambiguity, knowing You've got it all figured out. Allor-nothing thinking is a sign of distrust in the attributes of God. Please forgive me and change my heart. Amen.
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