#406 - Pampering Myself
Volume 1 - Prayers to Love God
Dear Father, I'm going to pamper myself today. A nice strawberry fudge sundae. A manicure or pedicure. The spa. Buy myself something special at the mall. I want to give myself a little TLC. I'm having compassion on me. I'm being kind to myself. Gentle. Feeling sympathy. I've been through some tough times and I need a little comfort. Father, this doesn't sound too good. It sounds an awful lot like I'm my own god. It sounds like I'm about as self-centered as anyone can get. However, I know I am very hard on myself. Deep down inside I really don't like who I am. As a matter of fact, I don't like myself at all. I make sure that I suffer in this life. I deprive myself of good things. I deny myself of the love of others. I reject compliments, affirmations, or the thoughtful acts of others. I refuse to forgive myself for even the smallest things I do wrong. I tell myself over and over what a loser I am. Father, if someone else was being treated like this I would come to their rescue. I would comfort them. I would silence the abusing voice. These attitudes are not from You. They are from the evil one. Father, if I don't like who I am, I cannot love others. He knows that. If he wants to derail my ministry to others he just needs me to beat the hell out of myself. Father, maybe a day of pampering for myself is a sign of hope. It is an intervention. Maybe I really need to remind myself that I am worthy of love. Father, while I'm relaxing in the spa, may I meditate that I can love myself when I repent of my rebellion and surrender my life to You. Once I understand Your love for me, I can understand Your love for others. Thank You for the reminder today I am worthy of love. Amen.
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