#455 - My Nerves and Buttons
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
Dear Father, I have triggers that make me explode. They may be about politics. They may be about theology. They may be about a person. They may be about professional sports. They may be about something I'm embarrassed about in my own life. They may be something I am ashamed about in my family. Those who know me well have learned to steer clear of these subjects around the dinner table. Those who want to poke a fight with me carry around these subjects like bullets in a gun, ready to aim and shoot and enjoy my subsequent agitation. I pity those who don't know me well enough, who will innocently bring up these "don't go there" topics and experience my wrath. Father, I may be angry because the topic goes against my desire to be my own god. I have my opinion and it is final. Any contradiction to my beliefs is a challenge to the authority I have given myself. Father, if this is the issue, I ask for forgiveness. Help me to surrender my life to you, to confess my rebellion and to repent of it. I may also be angry because I'm deeply in love with you. I have a deep sense of defending Your honor and to defend the cause of justice. The topic that comes up reminds me of a dishonor to You and an injustice to others. It gets my dander up. Father, I'm not going to apologize for this kind of hair-trigger response. I ask that You help me to be gracious and gentle as I defend the cause, never victimizing anyone in Your name or in the cause of justice. Help me to honor You with my life, my testimony, and my willingness to graciously fight the injustices to You and innocent people that get my dander up. Amen
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