#510 - I Am Adopted
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
Dear Father, I know I should be grateful for my adoptive parents. They gave me the security of a home. They gave me meals, clothes on my back, and a family to belong to. They gave me love and emotional support. They gave me a bright future. They sacrificed. They committed. They took legal responsibility. Father, thank You that You didn't leave me without parents. You moved my adoptive parents to welcome me into their lives as if I was their very own child. I have learned to love them and to feel as part of their family. May they be blessed now and in the future. However, I also struggle with guilt. As wonderful as my adoptive parents have been, I long for my birth parents. Who are they? What are they like? Are they still alive? Where are they? What are they doing with their lives? Why did they give me up for adoption? Do they miss me? Do they think of me? Have they forgotten about me? Are there genetic issues I should know about? I struggle with some serious issues in life. Did my birth mother struggle with drugs or alcohol during her pregnancy with me? Father, I want to know the answers to these questions. I need to know. I'm obsessed. I pressure my adoptive parents to either help me discover the answers to these questions or to step out of the way and let me discover them on my own. I know it causes them insecurity as their adoptive child seems to be ungrateful. I feel guilty about this. I don't want to hurt them. However, I long to connect with my birth parents. I need answers as to why they abandoned me. Why was I rejected by them? Why did my birth mother choose life over abortion? Father, my adoptive family is by no means perfect. There's dysfunction in the family. In those moments, I want to belong to my birth family and disassociate from my adoptive family. There are times when I feel I am not a part of my adoptive family. I'm an outsider. I long for my birth family at those times too. Father, please help me. Please help me to love and honor the couple who had incredible compassion on me, so much so that they invited me into their family. Please help me to express my thankfulness and gratefulness to them. However, please help them to also understand I need to explore my birth family. I ask You to lead them to support and encourage me in my search, keeping a loving eye on my emotional health as I might discover painful things about my birth family. Father, protect my heart. May my search for connection with my birth family draw me closer to You. May this whole experience lead me to surrender my life to You and to trust in Your character. Father, I need wisdom. I need direction. I need Your love. Amen.
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