#585 - My Fiance Died
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
God, why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Are You cruel? Do You hate me? What did I do to deserve this? Why did You take him or her from me? Why? You crushed all my hopes and dreams. My life is now empty. I've never felt so alone. People don't know what to say to me. There are no words to comfort me. They just hold me why I cry. How am I going to live anymore? The wedding plans? Cancellations? The condolences from everyone? What on earth can You possibly say to me? Father, You didn't need to speak anything to me. I would not have listened to words anyway. However, You did show Your deep compassion, mercy, and grace to me. Many godly people poured their heart out to me. They didn't preach. They didn't give advice. They didn't tell me things will work out. They just loved me and let me grieve in my own way. They gave me time. They did with me whatever peculiar things my heart needed to do to heal. They understood the waves of emotions that came over me. They understood my anger at You. They often prayed for me - individually and as a group. All of this was Your love pouring into my life. Father, over time I noticed I was growing emotionally and spiritually because of the tragedy. You were making me a better person. Father, believe it or not, I began to see that my late fiance was not the right man or woman for me. I had changed and I needed something new in a partner. My fiance would not have been able to be that kind of person. Father, thank You. I do ask that I might be ready for love again. Christ-centered love. Unconditional love. A love that lasts through dating, engagement, and many years of rewarding marriage. Amen.
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