#657 - I'm Terrified of Abandonment
Volume 2 - Prayers to Love Our Neighbor
Dear Father, relationships are the source of my security and personal value. People are there for me when I need encouragement. People are there for me when I am lonely. People are there for me when I need help. In other words, I have deified people. I have made other people, collectively, god. I fear a world where this god is not present in my life. Therefore, I do everything to please this god. However, I also try to avoid this god, not bumping into him on the road of life. I might do or say something to anger this god and then he would leave me. It's better to hibernate, avoiding this god at all costs, so that I don't anger him. Father, I either people please or I hibernate from people, both actions reflecting that I have made people too important in my value system. They are not god. You are. Instead of fearing You, I fear them. This is idolatrous. Father, I pray that I will fear You alone. Help me to understand humans are mere mortals, each one struggling with life on their own. People deserve my compassion and love, not my fear. If I'm worried about angering or annoying them, that means I'm thinking about my own needs and not theirs. Maybe someone needs tough love from me. Maybe a drug pusher needs to be turned in to the police so they stop hurting themselves and others. Doing right in such a situation demands that I not worry about abandonment. That person may hate me and may never speak to me again. However, I need to do what is right by You, the real living God, and not worry about the consequences of taking the right stand. Let people abandon me if it's the price of being obedient to You. Please help me to fear You only and I will be stop fearing abandonment in relationships. May I have confidence that You, the true God, will never abandon me. Amen.
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